We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
