i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
