It's like God shit irony all over that family
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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