Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
