What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
