how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Pants are for mortals
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
