i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
and you fell through a lawn chair
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
