I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
