There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
