and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
