You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
