Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
