Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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