I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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