I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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