did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
