I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
