Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
