My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
