Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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