it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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