he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I have fence marks all over my body
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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