They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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