hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize