were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
