You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
