I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
