just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
