My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
