WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
