I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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