i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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