She said her name was "party"
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
