Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
