This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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