There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
