ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I forget how to act sober
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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