2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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