I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
