Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
