The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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