I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The beer is more important than you right now.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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