I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
