Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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