I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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