I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
