Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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