Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
