they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
