I have demons in me.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
