Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
