Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
