hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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