pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
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