Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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