apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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