he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize