I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
