You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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