Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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