I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
