someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
