Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
