Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I love you.
Bad choice
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
