Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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