And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
