I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
